Where the hell are you?!?
I've been emailing you for weeks. You'll be happy to know that learning to shear sheep now. I'm also learning that there are people here that do other things with sheep that I don't even want to talk about. I guess you stay here long enough and well, they start to look a little cute. Not that I would do anything like that but . . . You know me, I don't like to judge. But back to MY PROBLEMS.
First of all, what the hell?!? I never hear from you anymore.
Secondly, thanks for the broadband card, I didn't mind at all the smell. Seriously you couldn't have put it in a balloon or something? I mean I know you're not a drug mule or anything but don't you at least watch television?
Third, why can't I email anyone other than you? I've been trying to get in touch with my brother and I don't hear anything back from him but replies with question marks saying, "Dude stop sending me shit I don't have the encryption key for"
Finally, I thought you were supposed to HELP me get out of here. You've clearly done nothing because the last I heard from anyone was Lucille French sending me a memo demanding an action plan in Portugese.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Would you please get your head out of your ass, your ass out of the bed, and your fingers out of the cheetos bag and do something?
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1 comment:
FIRST: I'm not sure I like your tone!
SECOND: If you would just take the Asshole Rating Self Exam and PRETEND to be a normal person you could get your self out.
FINALLY: Haven't you ever heard of BabelFish? I mean please, our 13 year old COO(L) even knows how to get an instant portugese translation
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