What ever happened to the USB broadband adapter? Does it have the same encryption keys as the broadband card?.
Can you ask Devon what he did with it after he finally pulled it out of his ass and see if he can send it to my brother?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
DAMMIT BUCKETHEAD ! @ # ! @# !
Where the hell are you?!?
I've been emailing you for weeks. You'll be happy to know that learning to shear sheep now. I'm also learning that there are people here that do other things with sheep that I don't even want to talk about. I guess you stay here long enough and well, they start to look a little cute. Not that I would do anything like that but . . . You know me, I don't like to judge. But back to MY PROBLEMS.
First of all, what the hell?!? I never hear from you anymore.
Secondly, thanks for the broadband card, I didn't mind at all the smell. Seriously you couldn't have put it in a balloon or something? I mean I know you're not a drug mule or anything but don't you at least watch television?
Third, why can't I email anyone other than you? I've been trying to get in touch with my brother and I don't hear anything back from him but replies with question marks saying, "Dude stop sending me shit I don't have the encryption key for"
Finally, I thought you were supposed to HELP me get out of here. You've clearly done nothing because the last I heard from anyone was Lucille French sending me a memo demanding an action plan in Portugese.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Would you please get your head out of your ass, your ass out of the bed, and your fingers out of the cheetos bag and do something?
I've been emailing you for weeks. You'll be happy to know that learning to shear sheep now. I'm also learning that there are people here that do other things with sheep that I don't even want to talk about. I guess you stay here long enough and well, they start to look a little cute. Not that I would do anything like that but . . . You know me, I don't like to judge. But back to MY PROBLEMS.
First of all, what the hell?!? I never hear from you anymore.
Secondly, thanks for the broadband card, I didn't mind at all the smell. Seriously you couldn't have put it in a balloon or something? I mean I know you're not a drug mule or anything but don't you at least watch television?
Third, why can't I email anyone other than you? I've been trying to get in touch with my brother and I don't hear anything back from him but replies with question marks saying, "Dude stop sending me shit I don't have the encryption key for"
Finally, I thought you were supposed to HELP me get out of here. You've clearly done nothing because the last I heard from anyone was Lucille French sending me a memo demanding an action plan in Portugese.
DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY?
Would you please get your head out of your ass, your ass out of the bed, and your fingers out of the cheetos bag and do something?
Friday, September 7, 2007
Got a Letter in the Mail today from Lucille
This is not looking good, buckethead. Get me out of here!
Dear Mr. Rainey
See below. I received this progress report today and I must say I am disappointed. Please read the below comments and make sure you begin to address these concerns immediately.
I cannot even consider supporting your release until I receive a detailed action plan for you addressing the issues below. Please cc Bartolomeu Martiho.
PS: For his convenience, I must require that you action plan be completed in Portuguese.
MEMO:
TO: Lucille French
FROM: Bartolmeu Martinho
RE: Progresso de Sr. Rainey
O Sr. Rainey não tem feito o progresso como nós esperamos e nós pedimos a aprovaçã0 para 14 dias adicionais de sua planta incorporada de EAP.
Durante este tempo nós continuaremos a trabalhar em suas habilidades de uma comunicação e edições de gerência da raiva. Em uma nota positiva fêz um trabalho excelente que alimenta as galinhas e nós esperamos que nós possamos o ensinar aplicar o mesmo que se importa aos assuntos humanos. Eu continuarei a mantê-lo informado de seu progresso.
Gracias
Dear Mr. Rainey
See below. I received this progress report today and I must say I am disappointed. Please read the below comments and make sure you begin to address these concerns immediately.
I cannot even consider supporting your release until I receive a detailed action plan for you addressing the issues below. Please cc Bartolomeu Martiho.
PS: For his convenience, I must require that you action plan be completed in Portuguese.
MEMO:
TO: Lucille French
FROM: Bartolmeu Martinho
RE: Progresso de Sr. Rainey
O Sr. Rainey não tem feito o progresso como nós esperamos e nós pedimos a aprovaçã0 para 14 dias adicionais de sua planta incorporada de EAP.
Durante este tempo nós continuaremos a trabalhar em suas habilidades de uma comunicação e edições de gerência da raiva. Em uma nota positiva fêz um trabalho excelente que alimenta as galinhas e nós esperamos que nós possamos o ensinar aplicar o mesmo que se importa aos assuntos humanos. Eu continuarei a mantê-lo informado de seu progresso.
Gracias
A Message to My People, Even the Little Ones
I need your help! ! ! !
I have been imprisoned here for almost two months now. This is the first time I've had a chance to communicate with the outside world -- and that's only because bucketheadCFO found out where I was and arranged to sneak a broadband card in to me. (She said someone named "UnaCrapper" hacked into the corporate network and found out where I was. UACRAPPER?!?!? I'm out of the building for a few weeks and those idiots hire someone named UNACRAPPER?!?!? And they wonder why I can't let people be deciding shit on their own. Unacrapper. God help me, I can only imagine what those crazy CEO's are doing down there without my guiding hand (fist!).
And Buckethead, that lazy ass, she didn't smuggle it in herself of course, but I thank her for it none the less. She is quite the master at delegation lately so my hat's off to Devon for being her courier. And given HOW he had to smuggle the card in . . . man, I owe you is all I can say. And it won't hurt to sit down forever.
So anyway, they told me I was flying to Dallas for a budget presentation and that a car would meet me at the airport. Next thing you know, I'm blindfolded and being taken for "training". Something about learning people skills. They said it was an "executive retreat" but the razor wire sorta sends a different message.
They said I could leave when I was able to demonstrate "diminished asshole tendencies." What the hell does that mean? It means they're going to keep my ass here until corporate stops paying, that's what it means. I've been through 3 "executive coaches" already. I have to get one of them to sign off on my progress before I can leave.
I knew it was a set up as soon as I met my last "coach." He only speaks Portuguese. Great. I've gotta go, it's time for chores and it's my week to feed the chickens.
PS: Given WHERE Devon had to put the card to smuggle it in, I don't know why Buckethead didn't send a USB one instead of the big credit card sized one. Maybe she was just mad at Devon, I dunno.
Later, time to feed the chickens.
I have been imprisoned here for almost two months now. This is the first time I've had a chance to communicate with the outside world -- and that's only because bucketheadCFO found out where I was and arranged to sneak a broadband card in to me. (She said someone named "UnaCrapper" hacked into the corporate network and found out where I was. UACRAPPER?!?!? I'm out of the building for a few weeks and those idiots hire someone named UNACRAPPER?!?!? And they wonder why I can't let people be deciding shit on their own. Unacrapper. God help me, I can only imagine what those crazy CEO's are doing down there without my guiding hand (fist!).
And Buckethead, that lazy ass, she didn't smuggle it in herself of course, but I thank her for it none the less. She is quite the master at delegation lately so my hat's off to Devon for being her courier. And given HOW he had to smuggle the card in . . . man, I owe you is all I can say. And it won't hurt to sit down forever.
So anyway, they told me I was flying to Dallas for a budget presentation and that a car would meet me at the airport. Next thing you know, I'm blindfolded and being taken for "training". Something about learning people skills. They said it was an "executive retreat" but the razor wire sorta sends a different message.
They said I could leave when I was able to demonstrate "diminished asshole tendencies." What the hell does that mean? It means they're going to keep my ass here until corporate stops paying, that's what it means. I've been through 3 "executive coaches" already. I have to get one of them to sign off on my progress before I can leave.
I knew it was a set up as soon as I met my last "coach." He only speaks Portuguese. Great. I've gotta go, it's time for chores and it's my week to feed the chickens.
PS: Given WHERE Devon had to put the card to smuggle it in, I don't know why Buckethead didn't send a USB one instead of the big credit card sized one. Maybe she was just mad at Devon, I dunno.
Later, time to feed the chickens.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)